we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
