i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there was a trapeze. enough said
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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