i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
