i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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