I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
