I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
