he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
