Non-Jews are for practice
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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