Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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