pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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