Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
