I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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