That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
