Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
