My hand turned me down
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
