a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
