I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
