I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
