I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
if only i could text you this smell
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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