im drinking this country out of the recession.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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