SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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