Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
