forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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