Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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