# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
