I want to stick my p in your. b.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
