i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
