she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
