did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize