I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
