# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
COCAINE IS GR8
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