I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He better not be in your backpack
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You brought string cheese to the strip club