The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
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Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
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Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't want my vagina anymore.