I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.