Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
organizing the empties. That sober.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
