I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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