I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
