I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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