O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
