She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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