Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
