She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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