Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
