We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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