my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize