I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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