Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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