There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
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I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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