how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
