i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
