JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I can't turn off my feet"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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