I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
