I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I bet he comes in French.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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