google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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