Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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