I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
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a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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