Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
