There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize