Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
