My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
not ubering you a puppy
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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