I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
