i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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