you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
