worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
then he tried to convert me to islam
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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